lacyunderall: (Default)
God, if you haven't seen No Country for Old Men yet, please go see it while it's still in the theaters. Do it! So fucking gritty and funny and sick and great. I heart you, Coen brothers. Except for the vomitous mass that is Barton Fink, you've never let me down.

In other news, today is a rose-colored glasses day. Because:

a) My agent has disappeared. I have decided he is in the hospital in a coma.
b) My toilet will not flush because of frozen pipes. I've dropped the lid on it and pretend it is pristine and white inside.
c) A little white fluffy dog was running around in traffic on the busy Rt. 92 country Hwy. that I take home from Mom's house. When last I saw him (after swerving around him at 70 mph) he was in the middle of the road, having wandered there after a van buffeted him into a ditch after coming within inches of hitting him. Glasses on....AHHHHHH. He's at home now after his owner found him, eating Liver Snaps and getting belly rubs.

Seriously, y'all. LJ-cut your meme's and polls and photos posts. For all of us.


May. 15th, 2007 08:32 am
lacyunderall: (Default)
I'll watch about anything horror-related. I mean, I'll watch the occasional Jason or Freddie film too, but they're for pussies and I acknowledge that. I'm more of a connossieur of the horror genre, preferring ghosts over gore and truly creepy over blatant bloodshed. I do, however, truly appreciate a great zombie movie.

Going with my recent Asian horror obsession, we recently purchased Imprint, directed by Takashi Miike. Let me preface the review by saying that Miike-san needs to be under constant surveillance by a team of mental health professionals, allowed a weekly one hour break in a secure yard, whilst being supervised by trained men with long guns.

Dont' read this if you're squeamish. )


Mar. 13th, 2007 05:26 pm
lacyunderall: (Default)
Everybody's doing it so why can't I? "300"will eat your face. )
lacyunderall: (Default)
Okay, somebody please explain any love for the work of Dario Argento. My boyfriend, who has amazingly good taste in movies and television, also has the WORLD'S MOST ABYSMAL taste in movies and television and it frightens me a little to know that I sleep next to a raving schizophrenic every night. See, back when we first started dating, and everything was fresh and new and I believed most of what he'd say was brilliant and thought that magic dripped from his...mouth, he had the goyones to suggest that I might be a) a little 'slow" and b) not capable of grasping "the genius that is Argento" because I said that "The Card Player" was one of the largest pieces of shit to ever bob down the turdpipe. So today I gave Argento another try, in the form of "Phenomena". I decided to break my "no Donald Pleasance movies ever" rule because I thought maybe Jennifer Connelly might mitigate the stink-factor and maybe there was something *to* Dario Argento films that I really *wasn't* getting and maybe this one would convince me that his films have some merit, albeit in the horror genre, where even *I* don't generally expect much.

This movie was a disjointed, badly-acted, poorly-written, crappily-filmed hockerfest. It was hard to follow because BLAMMO you're in another scene that only vaguely ties into the scene preceding. It was hard to see because BLAMMO this scene must needs more lights all of a sudden, oh, now it doesn't. It was hard to understand because BLAMMO stuff's just happening without the benefit of any backstory. If it had been filmed with Smell-O-Vision, it would stink of mouldering cheese. There was a murdering chimp, which was nice for me. Also, Argento claims that it's his favorite movie, which must be nice for him.

I did love "Dog Soldiers". We saw it this weekend, and I'd have further absorbed it before mailing it back to NetFlix if only to stave off the mental illness that has been bestowed upon me in "Phenomena" fashion. "Dog Soldiers" has quality kills, decent exposition, some really clever dialogue and very well-done werewolves. They're actually scary.

I'm very excited that "Snakes on a Plane", "Fearless" and "The 400 Blows" are winging their way to my doorstep, so that I may begin to bury "Phenomena" in the catbox of my imagination, under the litter of WAY better films.
lacyunderall: (Default)
I am so excited about these two films that I could wiggle...


Come on...two full-length movies back-to-back, by Robert Rodriguez & Quentin Tarantino? And in the Rodriguez one there's a chick with a machine gun for a leg?



When you see this...and you will...remember that I said that it is like a two-hour Frazetta painting, come to life. This movie is so visually stunning that I'm not even going to need sound.
lacyunderall: (Default)
I made a community called [ profile] spikity_movies because I'm so sick and tired of incoherent, babbly stupidity that tries to pass itself off as well-stated opinion regarding movies (and anything else of course, but you know, one issue at a time). I offer you a case in point: A perfectly fine review tainted by some cock-smoke with delusions of wisdom. That shit bores me stupid.

So if you want to actually debate films, offer up some reviews at [ profile] spikity_movies.

p.s.: I said "taint."


Apr. 21st, 2006 07:33 pm
lacyunderall: (Default)
I don't have anything of personal import to share right now (I'll get to that on Sunday evening), but please consider this a PSA. Do NOT waste a penny of your hard-earned money on "Silent Hill." The acting, plot, dialogue, beginning and ending are all shit. There is nothing redeemable except for one scene where a devil's titty twister pulls the skin off some chick. I'll tell you the ending even: Suck. Where there should have been a story, there was a draining suck-hole of suck, culminating in a suckage so profound that there are tiny black holes forming all over the world, where theaters used to be.

You're welcome. Seriously.


lacyunderall: (Default)

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